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Bar & Cocktail Puns 

Photo by Netta Lind /  Flickr / (CC BY 2.0)

A pun is a humorous use of words. 

Stop and smell the Rosé.

You say that this beverage is non-alcoholic, but where is the proof?

 

Are drunken, mispronounced words made up on the slur of the moment?

 

Visibly upset from the whole ordeal, the grape juice started to wine.

 

Alcoholism can be a serious alement.

 

Everyone in the bar is depressed. We need morale.

 

I own a drinking establishment for blackbirds. When negotiating loans, my crow bar can be used as leverage.

 

The hangover I had this morning made me feel tense. I guess I have to learn to un-wine.

 

Those two beer drinkers are having quite an argument. They are at lagerheads.

 

 

Everything happens for a reisling.

 

 When the French prostitute starts drinking, she ends up bleaching her hair. That’s because “Absinthe makes the tart go blonder.”

 

Q: Why does that person have such a sardonic look on his face? A: He just drank a shot of wry whiskey.

 

I told the rude bartender I wanted a heavy, dark, bitter beer. He told me to go to ale.

 

 

He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious. I told him he had zero proof.

 

The vintner developed a wine that tasted like canned meat. He called it Asti Spamanti.

 

The doctor liked to put hickory flavor in Daiquiris. We call him Hickory Daiquiri Doc.

 

The depressed beermaker spent the entire weekend brooding.

 

I usually drink Gin & Tonic, but tonight, I decided to shake things up, so I had a Martini.

 

You had me at merlot.

 

I’m not a wino. I’m a wine-yes.

Please send me your booze puns!

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